


Two Blushing Pilgrims

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-02-09
Updated: 2000-02-09
Packaged: 2018-11-10 17:45:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11131737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Teen-aged Ben plans to take Julie Frobisher to the New Year's Dance, but they are side-tracked by a stranded caribou.This story is a sequel toTears of Unknown Origin (aka Puberty Changes People).





	Two Blushing Pilgrims

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Two Blushing Pilgrims

## Two Blushing Pilgrims

by Mary

* * *
    
    
              "If I profane with my unworthiest hand
              This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this,  
              My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
              To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."
                   - Romeo and Juliet (William Shakespeare)
    

DISCLAIMER: Alliance owns Ben, Julie, Grandma, Grandpa, Buck Frobisher, and Mark Smithbauer (oh, and the ill-fated caribou). I'm not sure who owns the 'blushing pilgrims', now that William Shakespeare is dead. 

Humor/Romance; PG-13; Ben/Julie; Sequel to "Tears of Unknown Origin (aka Puberty Changes People)" 

**TWO BLUSHING PILGRIMS**

By Mary 

I entered the house to find my grandmother firing up the stove. It was only a little past six a.m., and I could smell that she already had a loaf of bannock baking in the oven and was starting breakfast. 

"Ben!" She was quite startled to see me come in from the mudroom. 

"Morning, Grandma." I gave her a kiss on the cheek as was our customary routine. 

"What were you doing outside this early? I thought you were still sleeping." She felt my cold hands and began to rub them vigorously between her own to warm them. 

"Nothin'. Just walking." 

"It must be twenty below out there. You weren't dressed warm enough. Your hands are ice-cold. Didn't you wear those new gloves I bought you?" 

"I guess I forgot 'em." 

Grandma reached up and touched my ears, then frowned sternly. "You didn't wear your hood up, either." 

"I guess I forgot that, too." 

She dragged me to stand close to the stove and went about fixing me a cup of hot tea. "What am I going to do with you, Ben? Thirteen years old you should have more sense than to invite frostbite like that. I oughta warm your backside!" 

"It is warm, Grandma," I said, tentatively. 

"I beg your pardon?" She stopped what she was doing and looked at me with incredulity. 

"I mean I'm not cold," I hurried to clarify. 

"Uh huh." She didn't believe that was what I'd meant. She was quite well-acquainted with my penchant for smart-aleck comebacks. But I believe that somewhere, deep down, she must have enjoyed them because she never took any serious action to correct this behavior -- as long as I didn't go too far. Grandma handed me the cup of tea, wrapping my fingers firmly around the mug. "Drink that down while it's hot." 

"Yes, Ma'am." 

"Then you'd better go take a warm bath." 

I spit out the mouthful of tea I had sipped, partly because it was burning my mouth and partly so that I could debate my grandmother's order. She sighed to see my bad manners and handed me a cloth to clean myself. 

"Sorry," I offered softly. 

"All right, honey. Drink that, then go take your bath. Breakfast will be ready when you've finished." 

"I'm taking my bath later, Grandma. Before the dance." Yup, this was the big day one of the biggest days of my entire life. I was taking Julie Frobisher to the village New Year's Eve dance. My first official date! 

"Oh, that's right. The dance is tonight." Grandma looked at me and I looked at her, trying to hide the fact that this mention of the upcoming big night was making me feel sick to my stomach. "That explains it." 

"Explains what?" 

"Nothing, dear, nothing." She smiled as she set the pot of oatmeal on the burner. "Why don't you go help your grandfather. He's out at the shed collecting some wood." 

"Yes, Ma'am." I gulped the last of my tea and turned to run out of the house. 

"Ben!" Grandma called me back. 

"Yes, Ma'am?" 

"Fetch your gloves." 

I averted my eyes nervously then mumbled, "I don't know where they are." This admission was not going to be well-received. I was expected to take good care of my belongings. 

"Have you lost them?" she asked with irritation. 

"They're around somewhere...I think." 

Grandma squeezed my face between her thumb and fingers. "There's absolutely no excuse for this, Benton. If you'd put them away properly, you'd know exactly where they are." 

"Yes, Ma'am." This was no time for a cheeky comment. 

She sighed and I shuffled my feet to see her annoyance. "First thing after breakfast, you are going to find them. You won't do anything else today until I see those gloves. Understand?" 

"Yes, Ma'am," I nodded. I almost asked "What if I can't find them?" but wisely resisted. I didn't want to know the answer to that question. 

"Good. You may borrow mine for now. They're on the shelf in the mudroom. Don't lose them!" 

"I won't, Ma'am," I affirmed with a hard swallow. 

She motioned for me to go, so I ran to the outer room to bundle up then hurried out to the shed. 

* * *

I knew I was supposed to be helping my grandpa with the wood, but instead I plopped myself down on a crate of chicken feed and sighed, resting my head in my hands as I leaned forward on my elbows. 

"Well, Benton, what're you doing up so early on this fine morning?" Grandpa asked cheerily. 

"I couldn't sleep. Grandma sent me out here." 

"Oh? That's odd." 

"Grandpa?" 

"Yes, Son?" 

"Grandpa, when is Grandma gonna stop treating me like a baby?" 

"Is that what you think she does?" 

"I don't think she does. I know it. She does it all the time." 

"I see." 

"I mean, just 'cause a guy can't find his darn gloves right then, doesn't mean you have to yell at him about it. Do I hafta be perfect all the time?" 

"Of course not. Not all the time," he smiled at me. "Grandma yelled at you, eh?" 

"Uh huh." 

"You didn't get fresh with her, I hope?" 

"No, Sir. It's not fair, Grandpa." 

"What's that?" 

"It's not the end of the world if I lose my gloves!" 

"True enough. True enough. Did you, uh, tell her that?" 

"Are you kidding? She woulda smacked me!" 

"Ah, yes. Good thinking." 

"So how old do I hafta be before she stops treating me like a little kid?" 

"She just wants you to learn responsibility." 

"I know, but, geez!" 

Grandpa stopped his work and sat down next to me. "She's letting you take a girl to that dance tonight, isn't she? That's a start." 

"Yeah, I guess. But she's only letting me 'cause you're all gonna be there, too. I bet she still won't let me go on a date all by myself." 

"Wouldn't be much fun all by yourself, now, Son, eh?" he nudged me and winked jokingly. 

"You know what I mean!" 

"Oh, come on, smile. I'm just teasing you. What is this? 'Feel sorry for Ben Fraser' day?" 

"Huh?" 

"You been moping and whining since you came in here. Very unbecoming for someone who's supposedly all grown up." 

"Sorry, Grandpa." I sighed and forced a slight smile. I knew he was right. I was sulking. 

Grandpa smiled back at me and we sat quietly for a moment. 

"Excited about tonight?" he finally asked. 

"I suppose..." Terrified was more like it, but I didn't want anyone to know. 

"Ah, I remember my first date. I spent the entire day trying to make sure everything'd be just perfect. You know. Every hair in place. Suit spotless and wrinkle-free. Shoes shined till I could see myself in 'em. My dad even let me borrow his razor and his cologne. Of course, I got a little carried away with that. I ended up smelling prettier than the girl!" 

I chuckled out loud at the thought of that. "You had to shave, Grandpa?" 

"Well, not really. But it made me feel pretty special to pretend that I did." 

"Yeah." I grinned, but the smile disappeared quickly as I realized I still had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, and Grandpa hadn't mentioned the thing that had me in such a state of anxiety. 

"I'm the only boy my age who hasn't been on a date, you know." 

"Really?" 

"Mark says if I waited any longer it might be too late to start." 

"Too late?" 

"Yeah. 'Cause my body's ready now and if I don't use it, I'll lose it." 

Grandpa went into a choking fit when I said this, and he stood up and began to pace around me. 

"You okay, Grandpa?" 

"Yes. Yes, fine, Benton." He squinted his eyes at me as if he were trying to read my mind. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean, what are your plans for this date exactly?" 

"We're going to the dance." 

"I know. I know. But what, exactly, do you plan to do with this girl?" 

"I dunno. Dance...and stuff." 

"What stuff?" 

"You know, Grandpa. Date stuff." 

"Look, Son, I want you to talk to me, okay?" 

"I am, Grandpa." 

"You don't have to fret. Whatever's said in this room stays between you and me. It won't be repeated to anyone." 

"Not even to Grandma?" 

"Especially not to Grandma. Now, tell me. What kind of ideas has this boy, Mark, been putting into your head?" 

I wasn't sure how to answer that. The truth was I had been accumulating all sorts of fascinating life lessons from Mark, particularly where girls were concerned. I think that's one of the things that made us such close friends. Mark exuded self-confidence around girls, and I was eager to learn as much from him on that subject as I could. 

My grandmother had, of course, included sexual education in my lessons, but it was all very scientific. And proper gentlemanly manners had been instilled in me from day one. Grandma had taught me biology and chivalry, not how to be a lover. If Dad had been around more, I probably would have discussed girls with him, but considering how rarely I saw him, it was difficult to approach him about such an intimate matter. Grandpa was much more fatherly to me than Dad, even though he tried to be more of a friend than a father so as not to usurp Dad's rightful role. 

"Well, um, he says I have to...are you sure, Grandpa? I feel, um, funny telling you." I was beginning to sweat in that chilly shed. 

"Don't be silly. This is just what Grandpas are for so young men like you have someone to tell these things to. He says you have to what?" 

"I have to, um..." I wriggled in my seat and coughed nervously and Grandpa sat down beside me and leaned forward on his elbows to listen. "Mark says a girl wants to, um, see your...your...um..." I blushed and hid my face. I couldn't say it. 

"Your...'um'?" It was obvious that he knew to what I was referring. 

"Yes, Sir. He says it's not a real date if you don't, 'cause the girl will think you don't really like her, so you hafta...um...show her and then you're supposed to, um, feel her, um..." My speech became slower as I watched the expressions on Grandpa's face. 

"Breasts?" he finished my thought. 

I nodded slowly. I couldn't believe I was discussing this with Grandpa and my jaw suddenly felt locked. 

"Oh, boy!" He exhaled strongly and shook his head in wonder. "So that's what you're looking forward to tonight?" 

"Are you mad at me?" 

"Mad? No." 

"Every time I think about it, I think I'm gonna throw up." Grandpa responded by putting his arm around me and caressing my shoulder. "I've never...I've never shown...it...to a girl before, Grandpa. I swear I haven't." 

"I know, Son." 

"But all the other boys have, so Mark says if I don't I'm not a real man." 

"Hold on there, Ben. First of all, how do you know all the other boys have? Did you ask them?" 

"No." 

"Mark told you?" 

"Uh huh." 

"Well, you know, it's just possible that he may have been, er, embellishing." 

"Why would he do that?" 

"When I was your age, I knew a boy who loved to talk big like that. I suspect it made him feel important. And all the kids believed him, too, because it was fun to believe him. He was a good story teller, and everyone loves a good story." 

"You really think Mark was making it up, Grandpa?" 

"I think it's unlikely that he knows the, er, sexual experience of every thirteen-year-old boy in town. Don't you?" 

"So, you mean I don't have to....?" 

Grandpa shook his head and I let out a huge sigh of relief. 

"You can't really believe that's what Julie wants from you?" 

"I don't know. I didn't think so. But how does a guy know for sure what a girl wants, Grandpa?" 

"Well, now, that's a valid question, Ben. It's not always easy to know. But, you know, a guy never has to do anything he doesn't feel ready to do, regardless of what the girl may want." 

"Are ya sure? Mark has a girlfriend, so he, um, knows about this stuff. He's not making it all up." 

"How Mark and his girlfriend, er, spend their time isn't really any of my business. How you spend your time, on the other hand, is my business -- to a certain extent. Do I have reason to be concerned on that front, buddy?" 

"No, Grandpa. I don't think so. I was, um, worried. I thought I was weird or something, you know, 'cause I didn't really wanna...you know..." 

"Hmm." He leaned in close and whispered confidentially, "Have you ever thought about your girlfriend, uh, in that way?" 

I was shocked by his question and unsure as to whether he really wanted an answer. Thoughts of Julie sprang to mind, and I couldn't help but fantasize about what it would be like to share myself with her in that way. As my imagination went into overdrive, all the blood in my body was suddenly re-routed, and Grandpa was aware of my excitement before he even glanced down at my lap. 

"Sorry about that," he said sincerely. "But, uh, no, Ben. You're obviously not weird." 

"Oh, Grandpa..." I lamented and turned away from him, wishing I could run away and hide forever. 

"It's all right, it's all right. That's a completely natural reaction." 

"But what if...what if that happens...you know...when I'm with Julie?" 

"Oh, I shouldn't think so. You'll be so concerned with doing and saying all the right things, I doubt such thoughts will even enter your mind." 

"It's not my mind I'm worried about. Sometimes, even if I'm not...thinking about it...or anything...sometimes it...you know..." 

"It has a mind of its own?" 

"Uh huh." 

"Trust me. You'll be fine." 

I hoped Grandpa would take his leave so that I could be alone, but, judging from the broad smile on his face, he was enjoying this whole situation way too much to leave and certainly a lot more than I was. 

"You just keep that," he gave a nod in the general direction, "...behind your zipper where it belongs, you hear? You might think, er, showing won't do any harm, but you can very quickly find one thing leading to another and before you know it, the whole situation has escalated beyond anything you had planned." 

"Don't worry. I'll keep it behind my zipper, Sir." 

"Good. 'Cause, I imagine if Sergeant Frobisher ever found out otherwise, he'd have you castrated!" 

"Castrated?" I gulped. Just the mere thought immediately deadened the stirring in my loins, and I wondered if I'd ever be capable of arousal again. But that fear was put to rest the next time I snuck one of the sex books that Grandma hid in a special spot in the library into my room for a little undercover investigating. 

"Ah, feeling better?" Grandpa asked with a grin. 

I nodded and smiled shyly. "Do you really promise you're not gonna tell Grandma about this, Sir?" 

"Not a word," he said as he put a finger to his lips. "We men gotta stick together, you know!" 

"Thanks, Grandpa." 

"Oh, and, uh, one more thing. I understand that this is all, er, new territory for young men such as yourself, and it helps to talk about it with your peers, but proper etiquette does demand a certain amount of discretion when discussing your, er, romances." 

"Grandma always tells me the most important thing is protecting a lady's honor. She gets real mad when she sees some of the guys in town being, you know, kinda rude, to the girls. She says they're showing off and it makes people think bad things about the girls when they really should be thinking bad things about the guys." 

"Hmm, and you certainly wouldn't want anyone thinking anything bad about your young lady, would you?" 

"No." 

"Not to mention your grandma and me thinking anything bad about you?" 

"Uh-uh." I pondered for a minute then asked, "So I shouldn't tell Mark about my date?" 

"There's no need to tell him everything you do -- or don't do. Right?" 

"Right." I smiled, as I looked forward to driving Mark crazy with silence. 

"I'm hungry. You hungry? How 'bout we go see if your grandmother's got breakfast ready?" 

* * *

"Well, why are you both standing there empty-handed?" Grandma scolded us as we entered the house and removed our coats and gloves. "I thought you were bringing in some wood." 

"Oops!" Grandpa replied. "Must've forgot." 

"Heavens! You're as bad as the boy!" she exclaimed in exasperation. "Guess he comes by it honestly." 

Grandpa winked at me and we both broke out in giggles. Grandma was undone by this, and she marched over to us and grabbed us each by an ear and dragged us across the room. 

"Now, get yourselves over to the sink and wash up! Breakfast is waiting." 

Grandpa and I winced and rubbed our ears as we walked in unison to the sink, avoiding each other's eyes so we wouldn't start laughing again. 

* * *

I was still quite nervous about the big night ahead and found myself unable to eat much of my breakfast. I absent-mindedly played with the oatmeal in my bowl as if I were a child playing in a sandbox. 

"The food goes into your mouth, Ben," Grandma broke my daydream. 

"Yes, Ma'am." But I couldn't stomach the thought of even one mouthful and continued to push it around the bowl with my spoon. 

"Benton--" she started to say. 

"The boy's a little pre-occupied this morning, dear," Grandpa interrupted her. "I don't think we need to pester him." 

I turned my head slightly to hide the smile that crossed my face at hearing Grandpa's words. How many times had I wished I could say those very words to my grandmother? 

"Very well. If you're not going to eat, you don't need to loiter at the table. You can get busy looking for those gloves you misplaced." 

"Yes, Ma'am," I replied, but I didn't move from my seat. 

"Well?" 

"I'm wondering where to look, Grandma." 

"Where was the last place you had them?" she asked. 

"On my hands." 

"After that, smart aleck!" Grandma snapped. 

"When were they last on your hands, Son?" Grandpa asked. 

"I don't remember. Oh, wait, yes I do." Grandpa's question had stirred my memory and suddenly I was certain I knew where to find the gloves. I hopped off my seat and ran out of the kitchen. 

"Come back here and excuse yourself, young man!" Grandma bellowed after me. 

Sheepishly, I returned to the kitchen and took my seat. "May I be excused, please?" 

"Yes, you may." As I got up to leave, she took my arm and stood me before her. "But the next time you forget your manners, you can expect a course of remedial instruction. We don't outgrow the need to observe proper behavior." 

"Yes, Ma'am. Sorry. I, um..." I squirmed at the tight squeeze she applied to my upper arm. "I know where my gloves are, Ma'am." 

"That's fine, but I think they would've waited while you excused yourself." 

I snuck a peek at Grandpa to plead for help, but he just shrugged. "Understood, Ma'am. May I go now?" 

"Go," she replied, and I hurried away, ducking her swat to my behind. 

The gloves were right where I thought they'd be. Inside the boot of one of my hockey skates. I'd stuffed them in there the previous evening after taking them off when I got home from Mark's house. I ran back to Grandma, triumphantly holding the gloves out for her to see, hoping she'd be so pleased at my finding them that she'd excuse my having lost them in the first place. 

"Here they are, Grandma. I found 'em." 

"Where were they?" 

"Um, in my skate," I confessed hesitantly. 

"I want you to put your things away properly from now on. Can you do that, or do I need to supervise you when you remove your overclothes?" 

"I can do it by myself. Geez, Grandma. I'm not a little kid." 

"Don't be impertinent, Mister." 

"I'm not. I'm just telling you you don't have to treat me like a baby...Ma'am." 

"I'll treat you like a responsible young man as long as you behave like one. Okay?" 

"I do." 

"A responsible young man doesn't carelessly misplace things, does he?" 

Grandpa must have known I was on the verge of saying something I'd regret, because he intervened at just the right time. 

"Perhaps he does, Grandma," he spoke in my defense. "But perhaps he learns from such mistakes and never repeats them." Grandpa winked at me and then I looked back at Grandma to see how she would react to Grandpa's theory. 

"What do you say, Ben? Is your grandfather correct?" 

"Uh huh. Yes, Ma'am." 

"All right. Good. Then go put those where they belong, please." 

I hesitated and stared at the floor, shuffling my feet. "Um..." 

"Um...what, honey?" 

"May I go outside for a while, Ma'am?" 

"What are you going to do out there?" 

"I'm supposed to go to Mark's for a hockey game." 

"You're going to play hockey on an empty stomach?" 

"No, on the pond," I answered with attitude, which disappeared quickly when Grandma grabbed hold of my ear and squeezed. "Ow! Geez, Grandma! I was just joking!" I put my hand to my ear to shove her hand away then massaged my ear with my fingertips. "I'm not hungry. Please, Grandma. It's an important game." 

"An important one, eh?" 

"Yes, Ma'am. It'll be the last one before Mark leaves for school in Edmonton." 

"I see. All right, honey, you may go. But only for a couple of hours. If you'd like, you may bring Mark back here for lunch, but after that you'll have to get ready for the dance tonight." 

Oh God! The dance! I'd forgotten about that! Although Grandpa had eased my mind about certain things, I still couldn't help feeling anxious about my first date. 

"I'll get your suit ready for you and maybe Grandpa will take you into town this afternoon to get a corsage for Julie. You need a haircut, too. I'll do that after lunch." 

"Can't I get a real haircut, Grandma?" 

"The haircuts I give you are real, honey." 

"No, I mean at a real barber shop. In town." 

"Now, that sounds like a splendid idea!" Grandpa exclaimed, recognizing my need to feel special on that special day. "I could use a trim and a shave myself. We'll make a real man's afternoon of it, eh, Ben?" 

"Is it okay, Grandma?" 

"Have you saved enough of your allowance to pay for a haircut and a corsage?" 

"I got enough. I can use the money Dad sent me for Christmas." 

"Well, all right. I'll leave you in your grandpa's hands. But no dawdling. You two are awfully absent-minded today. I don't want you coming home without the corsage or the haircuts." 

"We won't. Thanks, Grandma." 

"You're welcome, honey." 

"Um, may I be excused now to go to Mark's?" 

"Go ahead. Just remember what I said. Back by lunch time. If I have to come after you..." 

"You won't." I started to leave the room, but Grandma called me back. 

"Oh, hang on a minute, honey. Take this with you," she said as she put a large piece of bannock into my hand and I looked down at it with distaste. 

"Oh, Grandma," I whined with a scowl. 

"Don't 'oh, Grandma' me." 

"But I hate bannock." 

"That's okay, because it doesn't hate you. I'm not sending you out to play without some nourishment. You can eat that on the way to your friend's house." 

"But it'll make me sick and then my stomach will be even emptier." 

"We'll risk it, eh?" 

"But it's burnt. Look at it." 

"It is not burnt." 

"It's hard as a rock." I demonstrated by knocking it against the tabletop so hard that half of it fell to the floor, and I noticed Grandpa turn his head with a chuckle. "It'll break my teeth," I argued after retrieving the bannock from the floor. 

Grandma's irritation was evident as she took the soiled oatcake from me. "That's enough, Ben. If I hear one more word of complaint you'll be spending the morning in your room studying instead of playing hockey," she warned with a stern glare. "Is that clear?" 

"Yes, Ma'am," I whispered back and then turned to leave the room, looking dolefully at the nauseating mound in my hand. At least the mound was half the size it used to be. "But it'd make a better hockey puck," I muttered when I thought I was out of earshot. 

"I heard that!" 

"Just kidding, Grandma!" 

* * *

By late afternoon Grandma and Grandpa were beaming with pride at the fine specimen of a gentleman they'd made of me. I was a nervous wreck as I paraded before them in the middle of the living room, pressed and dressed in my finery, the scent of Grandpa's aftershave trailing behind me. If I'd thought there was any way I could back out of my date with Julie, I would have. But my grandma had schooled me well enough to know that a proper gentleman always honors a promise to a lady. Grandpa handed me the corsage we'd picked out for Julie, and I struggled to steady my trembling hands as I held it before me as if it were a holy relic. 

"That'll be your young lady, Son," Grandpa announced at the sound of a knock on the front door. 

My heart pounded inside me as I stood, staring at the door, knowing my life would never be the same once that door was opened. Grandma corralled me by the neck and gently but firmly forced me over to the door. 

"Don't keep her waiting in the cold, honey," she told me with a nudge. 

"I'm gonna throw up!" I blurted out and ran to the bathroom, dropping the corsage to the floor. 

"Benton Fraser!" Grandma called after me, but I couldn't answer as I felt in imminent danger of being sick. 

I heard Grandpa calm my grandmother and then welcome Julie and her parents into the house as the waves of nausea inside me became more insistent. I ignored the knock at the bathroom door, wishing I could disappear forever from the planet. 

"Ben, it's Grandpa. Let me in." 

"I'm sick, Grandpa." 

"I know. Let me in." 

"I wanna be alone." 

"Open this door, Son," he ordered. 

I obeyed, unlocking the door and then opening it just a crack. Grandpa pushed into the room and sat me down on the toilet lid, then took a seat on the edge of the bathtub. 

"Take some deep breaths, in and out, slowly," he advised as he soaked a washcloth in cool water and draped it around my neck. 

"Grandpa--" 

"Do it." 

I nodded and followed his instructions and soon the nausea abated a bit. I continued the deep breathing as I sat there, leaning forward on my elbows with my face in my hands. 

"How do you feel now?" Grandpa asked after a couple of minutes, to which I shrugged in response. "Any better at all?" 

"A little, I guess." 

"Good." 

I felt him place something in my lap and opened my eyes to see the corsage. 

"You dropped this," he said. 

"I can't, Grandpa." 

"You can't what?" 

"Do this. Oh God!" I exclaimed, doubling over again. "Just thinking about it..." 

"Don't think about it, Ben. That's your problem. You're just putting all sorts of scary thoughts into your head which have no basis in reality." 

"Whaddaya mean?" 

Grandpa lifted my chin and put a hand around my shoulder. "How long have you known Julie Frobisher?" 

"You know how long." 

"Yes, I do, but apparently you've forgotten." 

"No, I haven't." 

"Then why in God's name are you hiding from her in here?" 

"This is different." 

"No, it's not. It's only different in your mind. You're the same two kids who've been playing together since you were little." 

"But this is a date. We haven't been on a date before." 

"Forget about the damn date!" 

My eyes darted toward my grandfather as I heard that directive. He and Grandma never used such language in my presence, let alone when speaking to me. My dad sometimes did, but never my grandparents. 

"Well, have I got your attention now?" he asked as I looked at him intently. 

"Uh huh." 

"Sorry to speak so rudely, Son. I'm not angry with you, I'm just trying to make a point. Do you understand?" 

"I'm not sure." 

"Well, there's one thing you can be sure of." 

"What's that?" 

"You have promised to spend the evening with your friend, and if you don't go out there and greet her and escort her to that dance, then you are no gentleman." 

I sighed heavily and looked back and forth between my grandpa and the door a couple times. "What if I throw up right in front of her?" 

"That's not gonna happen." 

"It feels like it is." 

"I know." 

"You do?" 

"I had a first date once, too, you know." 

"Were you scared, Grandpa?" 

"Petrified. But my father took me aside and set me straight." 

"How?" 

"Same as I'm doing for you now. Same as I did for your dad." 

"And it worked?" 

"Of course it worked, smarty-pants! But, if you'd rather, I can send your grandma in here to deal with you." 

"No! Please, Grandpa! She'd...she'd be ashamed of me." 

"Ah, well, you don't want that, do you?" 

"Uh-uh." I looked at the door for several seconds, trying to work up the courage to get up and walk toward it. 

"Just pretend you're taking her to go skating at the pond." 

"Huh?" 

"It's any old afternoon and you're going to the pond to meet your friends." 

"Oh." I paused then added with a smirk, "Grandma would blister my butt good if I went skating in my good suit." 

* * *

Julie was seated on the sofa, between her parents, as I entered the living room from behind them. Grandma saw me and announced me before I had a chance to turn tail again. I greeted the Frobishers from across the room, but was too tongue-tied to say anything to Julie until Grandpa pulled me by the arm and brought me face-to-face with my companion for the evening. 

"Good evening, Julie," I said shyly. I was very self-conscious with everybody watching us. 

"Hello, Ben," she answered with a sweet smile that temporarily made me forget that anyone else was in the room. After a brief awkward pause, she held out her hand to me and I took it as she rose to her feet. 

"Wow, you, um, look very, um, pretty," I whispered to her, feeling the blush on my face deepening as I spoke. 

"Thank you. So do you. Handsome, I mean," she blushed back. 

"Here," I said, holding out to her the wrist corsage. 

"Help her put it on, honey," Grandma instructed gently. 

Julie extended her arm and I anxiously slipped the corsage over her hand and settled it on her wrist. We smiled shyly at each other and then I touched her cheek with a soft kiss. 

"Well, then, if we're all ready..." Buck Frobisher said loudly as he stood up with a start and nonchalantly pulled me a few inches away from Julie. "If we do it right, we can all squeeze into the truck." 

The thought of sitting beside Julie in a truck along with her folks and mine, even for the short drive to the Village Community Center, was enough to send me into another panic. "Julie and I are gonna walk," I stated instinctively, not even bothering to ask Julie if that was what she wanted. 

"Don't be silly, Ben. There'll be room for all of us," Grandma stated. 

"I know, but we'd rather walk." It finally struck me that I hadn't actually asked Julie what she would prefer. "Would you rather walk, Julie?" 

"Sure...if you would." 

"Okay, good. Let's go." 

"Hold on there, Fraser," Buck stopped us. "I don't know that I want my little girl trudging through the snow to her first dance. There's no reason you can't join us in the truck." 

"There's no reason we can't walk, either, Sir." 

"Benton, don't be fresh!" Grandma warned firmly. 

"I'm not, Grandma." 

"Listen to me, young man," Buck held my shoulder and continued. "I'm the father, and I say what goes." 

"But, Sir, you're not my father," I answered as respectfully as possible while trying to assert my autonomy. "So you can't tell me what to do." 

"No, but I can!" Grandpa said as he grabbed me and pulled me into the kitchen. "That's enough of that, Son! D'you hear me?" 

"Grandpa, you're embarrassing me," I whined. 

"No, Ben, you're embarrassing yourself, and you're embarrassing your grandmother and me, as well. You should be ashamed of the performance you just gave in there." 

"It wasn't a performance." 

"Don't sass me, buddy! Your behavior with Sergeant Frobisher was abominable, and if it doesn't stop, you will find yourself spending the evening in your room while the rest of us go to the dance. Clear?" 

"But you have to let me go 'cause I promised Julie." 

"No, I don't have to let you do anything. You have to do as I say because I am the alpha dog here. Am I not?" I didn't answer at first, so he sternly repeated the question. "Am I not, Benton?" 

"Yes, Sir," I mumbled contritely. 

"Very well. Now, you are going to replace that scowl on your face with a smile and go back in there and apologize to Sergeant Frobisher for your rudeness and then you are going to escort Julie to the car. And that's final. No arguments." 

I hesitated, wondering if I should question my grandfather's orders. 

"And I mean now, Son." 

"But why can't we walk to the dance? It's not far." 

"Benton, did you hear what I just told you? I am not going to abide any defiance." Grandpa was becoming truly angry. 

"I know, Grandpa, but before, in the bathroom, you said I should pretend I was taking Julie skating on the pond." 

"Yes, so?" 

"We never go to the pond in a car with all you guys watching us." 

Grandpa gave me a look of recognition then began to massage the back of my neck. "Are you uncomfortable with all of us around?" 

"Yes, Sir," I admitted with a blush. 

"I see." Grandpa thought for a few seconds, then patted me on the back, said "Stay here" and went back into the other room. He returned almost immediately with Buck. "Okay, Ben. I believe you have something to say to Sergeant Frobisher." 

I was extremely embarrassed by this whole situation and couldn't bring myself to look at Buck as I spoke. "I'm sorry if I was rude, Sir. I didn't mean to be." 

"My daughter will not be going out with anyone who refuses to follow my rules. I don't care whose son he is. You'd better learn that real quick, Mister, or you can stay away from Julie." 

"Yes, Sir," I whispered, then snuck a pleading glance at Grandpa. 

"Go wait with the others, Ben. I need a word with Buck before we leave." 

"Yes, Sir." 

I don't know what my grandfather said to him, but he somehow convinced Buck to allow me to walk Julie to the dance. So the Frobishers stood outside the house with my grandparents, watching, as Julie and I made our way toward town. 

* * *

I had figured it would be quicker to take the more direct route into town, through the woods. And it would've been quicker, too, if it hadn't been for that caribou. 

The moon was bright that night, and its reflection off the snow lit our path through the woods. Not that I needed the light. I was very familiar with the area, having spent a good deal of my free time on solitary walks. But just as we were about midway through our stroll, I heard a noise. A noise I couldn't place. A noise that didn't belong. 

"What was that?" I stood still, holding Julie's hand, as we both listened for a few seconds. 

"What was what?" she asked nervously, gripping my hand tighter. 

"I heard something before." 

"I told you we shouldn't have come through here after dark." Julie hugged my body close to hers, and I responded by wrapping my arms around her to comfort her. Even through all the layers we were wearing, the embrace felt so good that I was kind of glad she was frightened. 

"It's okay, Julie. I do this all the time," I whispered into her ear as I nuzzled her and breathed deeply of her sweet scent. 

"Sure. Like that time you told me you knew how to drive a car and then almost got us killed." 

"That was different," I explained, lifting my face to look at her, but still holding her in my arms. "We were just little kids then. And we didn't almost get killed -- well, unless you count our dads almost killing us." 

"Boy, I thought your father was gonna skin you alive the way he dragged you into the house after we drove into that gate." 

"He was." 

"I was so scared. I cried and pleaded with my father to save you." 

"You did?" 

"Daddy sent me to my room because I wouldn't stop begging him to do something. You were so cute wearing that hat. I couldn't bear the thought of what your dad was gonna do to you." 

"Yeah, me neither. He didn't, though." 

Julie rested her head against my chest. "You were so brave. You were my hero." 

"I was stupid." 

Julie laughed and looked up at me, and I was consumed by an overwhelming urge to kiss her. But I heard my grandmother's voice in the back of my mind telling me that a proper young gentleman my age didn't give in to such urges, so I resisted. 

"I was your hero?" I asked, blushing in the night. 

"Uh huh." 

We smiled at each other and, after a pause, I asked "So, um, who's your hero now?" 

"It's never changed," she answered softly. 

I stared at her lips as they shone in the moonlight, smiling up at me. To hell with Grandma's chivalry, I thought to myself in stronger language than I would ever speak aloud. Slowly, I lowered my head until our faces almost touched and we were breathing each other's exhalations. My heart was racing as I parted my lips slightly and pressed them against Julie's, my eyes closing in ecstasy at the moment of contact. 

I didn't really know what to do now that we were kissing. Well, I did but I didn't. I mean, on the one hand I'd had one code of conduct instilled in me by my grandmother -- a code of conduct which, I might add, I was shattering at that very moment. But on the other hand, there were the lessons I'd picked up elsewhere. I'd witnessed lovers kissing, although, admittedly, that isn't quite the same as having practical experience. Actually, until that moment with Julie, my only experience had been with a pillow. Yes, it was a rather one-sided experience, but as a learning tool, it was effective in honing my technique and building my self-confidence, so I was grateful to Mark for introducing me to this little trick. Especially as I stood there in the moonlit woods, enveloping Julie with my embrace, savoring her sweet lips. 

My quandary as I reveled in Julie was how long I should linger over the kiss and whether I should explore some of the variations which intrigued me. In the end, I decided that less was the way to go, seeing as this was our first kiss. So, as I brought that fateful moment to an end, we stood staring at each other, speechless. 

"So that's what all that about a strange noise was about," Julie broke the silence. 

"Huh?" 

"You were just tricking me into letting you hold me and, um, kiss me," she accused me coyly. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Julie," I said with shame, releasing my hold on her. "I didn't....I wasn't....I mean I thought you wanted...." I stumbled for the right words. 

"Relax, Ben," she laughed and took my hands in hers, and I silently cursed the gloves that came between us. "I'm just teasing you. I did want to." 

"You did?" 

"Of course, silly. Couldn't you tell?" 

"Um, well, you're the first girl...I mean...um..." 

"This was the first time you kissed a girl?" 

"Uh huh. I'm sorry." 

"What for?" 

"I don't know." 

She smiled and moved closer to me. "It was my first kiss, too, Ben." 

"It was? Really?" 

"Uh huh. Not counting when we were little. Remember?" 

A broad smile came over my face as I thought back on those days. "I remember my grandmother boxing my ear 'cause I behaved improperly." 

"Good thing your grandmother's not around right now." 

"It's a very good thing," I agreed. 

We looked in each other's eyes and didn't have to say anything else. I pulled her close until our lips met again, gently. It was one of the most pleasant sensations I had ever known. It just felt so right. I couldn't believe I had been afraid of spending that evening with her. From the moment we had met, as young children, I had been at ease with her. I could have stayed there forever, with her arms snugly around me while her hands caressed my back and my neck. But then I heard that strange noise again, louder than before, so I lifted my head to look. 

"What was that?" Julie asked as she clung to me in fear. 

"Shh!" I hushed her as I heard the noise yet again. 

"Ben, I'm scared." 

"Shh, shh. There it is again. You hear it?" 

"I don't wanna hear it." Julie hugged me even tighter and I struggled to retrieve the small flashlight I carried in my parka. 

I never would have spotted the caribou without the aid of the flashlight. He was trapped on an icy ledge about seventy meters above us. I was perplexed as to what he was doing up there in the first place -- perhaps running to escape hunters -- but I knew I had to help him get down or he'd die. 

"Here, hold this," I said, putting Julie in charge of the flashlight. 

"What should I do with this?" 

"Nothin' yet. I'll tell you." 

I started to feel my way up the steep hill toward the ledge, but it was very icy and more than once I lost my footing and slid downhill, only to have to start the ascent from scratch. 

"Maybe we should go for help," Julie suggested after one of my falls. 

"No, there's no time. He's been stuck up there too long already. Anyway, nobody'd probably think it was too important." 

"But how are you gonna get him down? He's too big." 

"I'll think of something." I paused for a moment to ponder my next attempt. "Maybe if you helped me. Do you think you could follow me up?" 

"Um, yeah, I guess so. I can try." 

"Here, put your arms around my waist and hold on. I'll try not to fall again, I promise." 

"It's awful slippery." 

"Dig your boots in when you take a step like this," I said, demonstrating. "Kinda sideways so you don't slip back. And don't let go of me." 

"Okay." 

"You sure you wanna do this?" I asked. I could tell she was a bit apprehensive, but I didn't know what else to do. The caribou was near death and needed help without delay. 

"Yes, yes, I'm sure. Let's go." 

I smiled then slowly began the ascent up the hill. The fact that Julie had put her trust in me bolstered my confidence and I was sure we could save the animal together. 

Eventually, we made it to the landing just below the ledge upon which the caribou was stranded. I was frustrated to discover that the ledge was too high for me to pull myself over it and the rocky sides were so icy that it was impossible to climb without special equipment, which I didn't have with me at the time. 

"Now what?" Julie asked with as much concern as I was feeling. 

"I don't know. There's gotta be a way," I insisted, looking around for inspiration. As my eyes fell on Julie, I recalled our earlier childhood reminiscences about the time we drove my father's truck. Julie had been my legs on that occasion, and I suddenly wondered if she couldn't do the same this time. "If I could just reach over the edge, maybe I could coax him down." 

"Sure, but how're you gonna get up there? The ledge is above us and I don't see any way to climb up." 

"There might be a way, if you would help me." I was hesitant to mention my idea, as I wasn't sure Julie was going to like it or if I really wanted to make the proposal. There was an element of risk involved, after all. 

"How?" 

"The ledge isn't that much higher than I am. If I just got a little boost, I think I could reach over the edge." 

"A boost?" 

"Yeah." 

"You want me to boost you?" 

"Well, yes..." 

"I can't lift you, Ben. You're too big." 

"You won't have to lift me. Just support me while I climb onto your shoulders. Once I can reach over the ledge, I'll lean against it so most of my weight is on the rock instead of on you. Okay?" 

"I don't know..." 

"If you don't wanna, I understand. I mean, something could go wrong and you could get hurt and I would never want that to happen, so if you wanna forget I ever suggested it, that's okay, I understand." 

Julie smiled as I rambled apologetically, bringing a blush to my face. Once I stopped talking, she laced her fingers behind my neck, pulled my face to meet hers, and teased me with a short, sweet kiss. 

"Why do I get the feeling you're gonna get us both in trouble before the night's over?" she said, half-jokingly, with our faces still inches apart. 

I bowed my head and stammered, "It's just, um, the caribou, he's gonna die. I can't do nothing. I have to try to help him." 

"Of course you do, Benton Fraser. That's why I love you." 

"It is? I mean, you do?" I squeaked in disbelief. "You, um, love me?" 

She didn't answer me. She just grinned a shy, yet sinister, smile which was torturous to behold. 

"Because, you know, um, I do, Julie. Love you, I mean," I confessed as my heart raced out of control. We stared at each other silently until I worked up the courage to ask, "May I kiss you again?" 

"Maybe...later. After we rescue the caribou." 

"Oh, right," I said, backing away from her slightly and feeling guilty for having thought about kissing when the caribou's plight was so urgent. "We'd better hurry. You ready?" 

"As ready as I'll ever be." 

It was a bit awkward, but I managed to position myself on Julie's shoulders. She leaned against the rock face as I stretched my arms over the top of the ledge while straddling my lower body tightly around her to steady myself. 

"If my father saw us like this, he'd kill us both," Julie announced with a touch of irony in her voice. 

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" I was concerned that I might be squeezing my legs too tightly. 

"No, I'm okay. But it's kinda...I don't know...weird...with you, um, sitting on me like this." 

"Sorry." 

"No, it's okay. It's not a bad weird, really. You know?" 

"Yeah, I know. It feels kinda...weird...for me, too." I couldn't help smiling to myself. 'Weird' wasn't exactly the word for it. Straddling Julie was oddly pleasurable to a young boy whose previous contact with any girl beyond hand holding had been restricted to fantasy. But I kept myself in check by focusing on the reason we were in that position in the first place. 

"Let me know if you want me to, um, move, or anything," Julie said with obvious embarrassment as she got halfway through her sentence. 

"No, I think you're okay, just like that. It's probably safer if we don't move around too much. So we don't lose our balance, I mean." 

"Good, 'cause I'm not sure I could move if you wanted me to. Not with all this weight on me." 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Julie. I'll, uh, press harder against the ledge so I'm not so heavy." I sprawled as much of my upper body as I could onto the ledge in an effort to support most of my weight. "Is that better?" I asked through clenched teeth, straining at the physical effort. 

"Yes. Do you see the caribou?" 

"Uh huh. He's facing the other way, though. I gotta get his attention." With what little strength I could muster without faltering, I grabbed a handful of snow and tossed it in the direction of the caribou. The snowball grazed him lightly on the rear flank, startling him, and was successful in getting the animal to turn until it faced me. 

"Hello, Mister Caribou," I greeted him in a friendly manner, trying to calm his obvious fear. "My name's Ben. I won't hurt you." 

The caribou began to back away frantically and utter sounds of terror. 

"No! No! Don't be afraid. I'm here to help you." 

But the animal backed itself further and further up the ledge, into a corner, where it began to writhe in hysteria, refusing my gentle offers of help. 

"Darn!" I cursed in a hushed tone, so as not to frighten the animal any more than he was already. 

"What's wrong, Ben?" 

"He won't come anywhere near me. He must think I'm a hunter." 

"Well, you tried. If he won't let you help him--" 

"No, I can't give up that easy. Not yet. If I get up there with him and he sees I don't have a gun, then maybe he'll trust me. Spot me, Julie. I'm gonna see if I can pull myself all the way up." 

"That's too dangerous, Ben. What if you fall?" 

"I think I can do it as long as I keep leaning forward against the rock. And if you could maybe push me as I lift myself." 

"Oh, Ben..." 

"Could we just try? Please?" 

"Oh, all right." 

"Thanks! You're terrific, Julie!" I flattened my forearms against the rock and strained to pull myself forward to lift the rest of my body over the ledge. Julie tried to help, but was unsure how to go about it. I lifted myself off her shoulders so that my lower body hung over the edge. I knew a little push would be all the help I needed. "Okay, now just give me a push in the--" 

Before I even finished my instructions, she pressed her hands against my rear end and started to shove with all her might. 

"...yeah, like that. That's good." With Julie's assistance and one last push to the bottom of my boots, I was soon atop the ledge. I stood up and began to advance very slowly toward the caribou, speaking reassuring words while I walked. But the closer I got to him, the more the animal panicked. It finally got to the point that I had to start retreating because he was lashing out so violently. 

I sighed in frustration, but kept talking to the animal, praying silently that he would soon calm down and accept my help. But he didn't. I could do nothing but watch from a safe distance as he butted himself against the corner of the rock where he had trapped himself and frenetically struggled for escape. Suddenly, he went still and, seconds later, dropped to the ground. I cautiously approached and knelt at his side. There was barely an ounce of life left in him. The cold and his frantic struggle for freedom had taken their toll. After one last whimper, he was dead. 

"Ben, what's going on up there?" Julie asked moments later upon noticing that I had stopped speaking. 

Her words brought me out of my trance and I blinked away a few tears that had filled my eyes and rose from my crouched stance. "Um, I'll be right there, Julie." I took hold of the animal's hind legs, and dragged it to the edge of the rock, below which Julie waited for us. "Watch out down there," I called to her. "It's coming down." 

"Wait! You can't just drop it. It's a long way down. It might get hurt." 

"It doesn't matter anymore. He's dead." 

"Well, then why are you--" 

"Look out! Here he comes," I warned, ignoring her question. I was grateful for the icy surface at that point because it made moving the caribou a whole lot easier. I pushed against him from behind until he slid over the edge of the rock to the snowy hillside below. I watched as his momentum took him to the bottom of the hill and he came to rest at the spot where Julie and I had shared our first grown-up kiss. 

I began to back myself off the ledge, but before I was ready to let myself drop, I lost my grip on the icy rock and fell backwards, landing atop Julie and knocking her to the ground underneath me. 

"Are you okay, Julie?" I asked, still lying on top of her. 

"I think so...except I can't move," she moaned. 

"Oh no! You can't move at all?" 

"Not with you lying on me like this." 

"Oh, God! I'm sorry. I'm so stupid." I quickly disentangled my limbs from around her and stood up, then offered my hand to help her up. 

"Ow!" she cried as I pulled her by the hand. She let go and sat back on the ground. 

"What is it?" I asked, crouching beside her. 

"My wrist. I think I sprained it or something." 

"You mean I sprained it. Darn it! I'm so sorry, Julie." I sat on the ground, buried my face in my hands and lowered it to my knees. "I've ruined this whole evening for you. It's a disaster." 

Julie silently wriggled her body next to mine until we were touching. With her good hand, she reached over and pried one of my hands off my face and entwined her fingers with mine. I was still too mortified to look at her, however. 

"Ben...Ben, don't be ridiculous. The night isn't a disaster." 

"Of course it is," I answered back, speaking into my knees. "Look at us. We can't go to the dance now. We've ruined our good clothes. My grandmother is gonna kill me when she sees what I did to this suit. You've got a sprained wrist " 

"I said it might be sprained. It's nothing, Ben. It's feeling a lot better already." 

" and on top of everything, we couldn't even save the caribou." I shook my head in despair and sighed. "I screwed everything up." 

"Ben Fraser, stop talking like that right now! You didn't screw anything up. You tried to help an animal that was in trouble. It's not your fault that he died or that we can't go to the dance." 

"But " 

Julie lifted my hand to her lips and kissed it, and I knew I would never misplace that glove again. "You're the sweetest person I know. I don't care if we don't go to the stupid dance. I just want to be with you." She leaned in and kissed my cheek as I continued to hide my face. 

Very slowly, I lifted my head and looked at her. "Guys aren't sweet. Girls are. I mean, you are." I tried to reciprocate her kiss to my cheek, but at the last second, she turned her face to mine and met my lips with hers. 

"Maybe we should go home," she suggested after we finally broke our connection. "Our folks are probably wonderin' where we are." 

"Yeah, I guess we better," I agreed, then with a big sigh added, "It's been nice knowing you." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Well, if my grandparents don't kill me, your father sure will." 

"Oh, no he won't, Ben. We'll explain what happened. He'll understand." 

"I think he hates me." 

"That's silly. He doesn't hate you. He likes you a lot. He's always liked you." 

"He hates me when I'm with you. And after this, he's really gonna hate me." 

"Don't worry about that. He'd hate any boy I went out with." 

"Really? Have you, um, gone out with a lot of other boys?" 

"No, just you. This is the first time my father has let me go out on a real date. So, you see, he doesn't hate you or he wouldn't've let me go out with you." 

"Just the same, you better not let him know I kissed you, or this'll be our first and last date." 

Julie blushed and looked down at my hand, which she still caressed with her gloved fingers. "Does that mean you might want to, um...go out again sometime?" 

Now it was my turn to blush. "Er, yeah, if you wanna. I think you're the nicest girl I ever knew. Um, the prettiest, too." 

"Where'd you learn to sweet-talk a girl like that?" 

"From my grandmother." 

Julie burst into laughter, and I thanked God for the darkness that hid my crimson cheeks. I'd realized a second too late to stop my words. 

"That didn't come out the way I wanted it to," I whispered apologetically. 

"It's okay," she tried to stop her laughter. "I think I know what you meant." She watched me squirm as she made several attempts to stop laughing at me. "I'm sorry, Ben. I'm not laughing at you. That was just so funny, what you said about your grandmother." 

"She, um, taught me I have to be a gentleman, but she didn't tell me what to say to you, Julie. Everything I said was, er, how I feel." 

Julie finally became quiet. I looked at my hand, where it rested in her lap, enveloped by her hand. After a brief silence, I used my free hand to cup her chin and drew her face to mine. I parted my lips a bit wider for this kiss and allowed the tip of my tongue to caress her lips and the skin surrounding her mouth. She responded by brushing her tongue to the underside of my upper lip, but when our tongues met, we both withdrew quickly, not quite certain we were ready for such intimacy. 

"Was that okay...um...I mean, did I...um...was that too much?" I stammered, half with embarrassment, half with excitement. 

"It was perfect," she admitted with sincere shyness. Julie had never been overly shy. In fact, she had been the one to initiate our innocent kissing as children. But she wasn't overly aggressive, either. She just had a refreshing openness to her, an instinct for revealing to me just as much of herself as I could handle. So, when she told me my kiss was perfect, I knew I had gone as far as I dared and as far as she'd hoped. 

* * *

"It looks like someone's home," I said with dread in my voice as Julie and I approached my house. "What do you think the chances are it's just Grandpa?" 

"Why do you want it to be him?" Julie asked. 

"I dunno. 'Cause I'd rather face him first than anybody else, I guess." 

"Our folks are gonna be pretty mad at us, huh?" she joined in my dread. 

"Furious, I fear." We had come to a standstill about fifty meters from the house. 

"Well, even if we do get grounded for the rest of our lives, I'm glad the night turned out the way it did. I'll never forget it." 

"Me neither," I agreed, smiling at her. I wanted to kiss her one last time before going inside, but I reckoned we were too close to the house. Someone might see us. Instead, I tightened my grip on her hand, the good one, and led her to the house. 

I peeked through a window and saw my grandmother and Buck in the living room. Grandma was seated on the sofa and Buck was pacing about the room, looking very edgy. There was no sign of my grandfather or Julie's mum. Darn! The situation couldn't have looked bleaker! I took Julie around to the entrance at the mud room, where we quietly removed our boots and coats. Hand-in-hand, we tiptoed through the pantry and into the kitchen. 

"George, is that you?" I heard my grandmother call. "Did you find them?" 

I took a deep breath and went to stand at the entranceway to the living room, peeking in from around the corner of the wall. "It's not Grandpa. It's me." 

"Ben!" she exclaimed with obvious relief. "Are you all right, honey?" 

"Fine, Ma'am. I'm sorry about--" 

"Where the hell is my daughter, you little scoundrel!" Buck demanded, moving toward me angrily. 

"She's right--" I began, only to be interrupted by Julie, who came up behind me and took my hand. 

"I'm right here, Daddy," she answered him. "And don't call Ben a scoundrel!" 

"Don't you be talking back to your father like that, missy! You're in enough trouble as it is! I'll have plenty of words for you, young lady, when I get you home!" 

"Sergeant, Sergeant," my grandmother stepped between Buck and us. "Perhaps we should give them a chance to explain." 

Buck turned his back to us and took a few steps toward the opposite side of the room. 

"Come here, children, and tell us where you have been all evening," Grandma directed as she sat back down on the sofa. 

I nodded to Julie and we walked as one into the room, watching the expressions of shock on Grandma's and Buck's faces as they noticed our state of dishevelment. "We're not children, Ma'am," I said respectfully as we came to stand before my grandmother. 

"That remains to be seen. You were apparently incapable of escorting your date to the Village Hall, which is, at best, a thirty-minute walk. And now you show up here, hours later, looking like that. What happened, Ben? You know those woods like the back of your hand. Did you have some kind of accident?" 

"Not exactly, Ma'am." 

"What, then? Your grandfather and I have been worried sick, as have Julie's parents. Did you give a thought to that?" 

"Yes, Ma'am, I know, but there was nothing I could " 

"Please don't yell at him, Mrs. Fraser," Julie spoke up. "He was only trying to do the right thing." 

"Hush, Julie," Buck scolded. "Let the boy speak his peace." 

I looked at Julie to offer my unspoken gratitude for her support, until I heard my grandmother clear her throat. 

"Benton, what happened tonight? I want to know everything." 

"Yes, Ma'am." Well, I didn't tell everything, but I did tell all about the caribou and our efforts to rescue it. When I got to the part about the animal dying while I watched, powerless to help, I had to drop my head to hide the tears that were welling in my eyes. 

"I'm sorry, honey. I'm sure you did everything you could," Grandma sympathized. 

"It wasn't enough. I guess I shoulda known I couldn't save him. It was stupid to even try." 

"Never be ashamed of doing what you can, Ben. Never." 

"I thought you'd be mad at me, Ma'am. I worried you and, um, my good suit is all torn. If I hadn't tried to help the caribou, none of that would've happened." 

"No, I suppose not. But is that the most important consideration?" 

"Whaddaya mean, Ma'am?" 

"How would you feel if you had left the caribou to die without trying to help?" 

"I don't know. I can't imagine doing that, Ma'am." 

"I can't imagine you doing that, either, honey," Grandma smiled at me. 

"A dying caribou, eh?" Buck spoke from across the room, with a hint of skepticism. "And where is this alleged caribou now, young man? Did you at least bring it home for your grandmother's freezer?" 

"Um, no, Sir. We, uh, gave it to some Inuit villagers." 

"Ah, of course." Buck gave me a penetrating stare and came to stand before me. He obviously still had doubts about my caribou story. "Listen here, young Fraser. If I find out you have lied about this, you will be answering to me, Mister." 

"It's the truth, Sir," I looked him in the eye and asserted. 

"Daddy, stop that! Ben isn't a liar!" Julie jumped to my rescue again. 

"Perhaps not, perhaps not." Buck nodded his head up and down as he continued to look at me with suspicion. "But any young scoundrel who disappears with my daughter off the face of the Earth deserves my thorough scrutiny." 

"You can scrutinize me if you want, Sir, but you won't find out that I told any lies, 'cause I didn't. I can tell you don't trust me with your daughter, Sir, but I promise you, I would never do anything to harm her. I, um, like her, Sir." 

"You like her, eh?" 

"Yes, Sir. A lot." 

"Well, young Fraser, I love her, and so does her mother. We have loved her for thirteen years now, and we're not about to let some, er, young rascal come along and lead her down the primrose path." 

"Down the what, Sir?" 

"Never mind." 

"Daddy, Ben is a perfect gentleman with me." Julie and I exchanged smiling glances, knowing full-well that Buck might disagree if he had seen us earlier that night. 

"Is he now?" Buck replied, slapping his hand firmly onto my shoulder. "Well, you'd better see to it that I never get wind that you've been anything but a perfect gentleman with my little girl, or I'll throttle the tar out of you." 

"Yes, Sir. You don't have to worry. That won't happen, Sir." 

"Fine, fine." Buck smiled slightly then leaned in to whisper to me while leading me away from my grandmother and Julie for a private word. "A caribou, son? You preferred rescuing a stranded caribou to dancing with my daughter?" 

My face broke into a wide grin and I whispered back to him, "I guess I'm not much of a Romeo, Sir." 

"No, eh?" 

"I guess we're kinda young." 

"Kinda young to, er, like each other?" 

"Oh, no, Sir. I told you I like her a lot. In fact, she's probably my best friend now that Mark is going away." 

"Is that so? Best friend, eh? Well, that's splendid, Benton," he said, massaging my neck. "So, you two are buddies, then?" 

"Uh huh." 

"Just what are you two whispering about over there?" Grandma interrupted finally. 

"Oh, er, just man-to-man stuff, Mrs. Fraser. Eh, Benton?" Buck answered with his arm around me affectionately. 

"Yes, Sir. Man-to-man stuff, Grandma." 

"I see. Well, Sergeant, you and Julie may as well make yourselves comfortable until George and Mrs. Frobisher return. There's no sense you going out looking for them. They could be anywhere." 

"Thank you kindly, Mrs. Fraser. I imagine they'll check in with us in short order." 

"As for you, Benton, it's been a long day. Perhaps you should say good-night now and go on to bed." 

"Oh, uh, well, Ma'am, I think I should stay up to sit with Julie. I promised to be her escort for the night." 

Grandma stood up and came over to me. As I stood as tall as I could and looked her in the eye, she smiled, caressed my shoulder, and then kissed my forehead. "Yes, you did, didn't you? So, why don't you take your young lady into the kitchen and make yourselves some nice, hot chocolate. I bet that'll taste good after your adventure tonight." 

"Yes, Ma'am. That sounds great. Thank you." 

* * *

I'll never forget the moment that new year struck. Grandpa and Mrs. Frobisher had joined us at the house and we were all toasting the occasion with hot chocolate. Then, as the clock struck midnight, Julie and I took our cue from the grown-ups. We embraced and wished each other a happy new year with a kiss. A long one. 

Suddenly, I became aware of Buck clearing his throat noisily and, as I opened my eyes, I saw that our folks were all watching us with interest. 

"So, er, is that how you greet all your buddies, eh, Benton?" Buck asked with good nature, yet with a hint of seriousness. 

Julie and I parted lips self-consciously and blushed at the attention we were receiving. 

"Um, no, Sir. Er, not all of 'em." Grandpa started chuckling behind me and slapped his hands onto my shoulders. 

"Now, Duncan, leave the kids alone," Mrs. Frobisher said as she took his arm and led him away from us. 

"Oh, I'm only teasing them, dear," he answered. 

"Well, then, it's no wonder they didn't go to the dance tonight. They never would have had a moment's peace with you teasing them all evening!" she scolded, then kissed him. 

Julie and I glanced at each other and blushed again as we remembered the intimacy we had shared, alone in the woods. I noticed my grandmother eyeing us curiously, so I quickly averted my glance. 

"Would you like some more hot chocolate, Julie?" I asked, trying to change the subject. 

"Actually, I think we should be getting home, Julie," Mrs. Frobisher announced. "We've all had a tiring night, and I'm sure the Frasers would like to get some sleep." 

* * *

It was very late when I finally got into bed that night, but despite the hour, I was unable to fall right to sleep. I had a million different emotions going through me and was confused as to what they all meant. I wasn't sure who I was anymore. But I knew I wasn't the little boy who had been lectured by his grandmother that very morning for irresponsible behavior. And it appeared that Grandma didn't see me that way anymore, either. I could see it in the way she had looked at me that night as I related the caribou story. 

"Come in," I called out as I lay in bed. I have no idea how many knocks there had been at my door before they finally brought me out of my reverie. It wasn't that I didn't hear the knocking. It just didn't seem to have anything to do with me when I was in my own little world with thoughts of Julie and our evening together. 

"Sorry, did I wake you, Son?" Grandpa cracked open the door and peeked in to ask. 

"No, Grandpa. I was awake." 

"Ah, good." He came fully into my room and stood beside the bed, looking out the window. "Beautiful moonlit night, eh?" 

"Yeah." 

"No better way to see in a brand new year. Bright. Clear. Peaceful." 

"Uh huh." I figured Grandpa wanted to talk to me about something more important than the moon, so I sat up in bed and waited to see what else he was going to say. 

"A little chilly for an open window, though," he said, observing the slightly open window. He didn't shut it, however, but turned his head to look at me in the dark. "Still listening to the night noises when you go to sleep?" 

"Uh huh, sometimes. It's kind of a habit." 

"Sounds like a nice way to end the day." 

"Yeah, it is." 

"Hmm." He looked back out the window and was silent. 

"Is somethin' wrong, Grandpa?" I finally had to ask out of great curiosity. 

"Wrong how, Ben?" 

"I don't know." I paused, then added, "Did you just wanna talk about the moon and the night and stuff?" 

"Mmm," he pondered. "Yes, I suppose...well, no." He turned to look at me again and I waited anxiously for him to explain. "Your grandmother thought -- well, she thought you might want to talk." 

"She did? Talk about what?" 

He shrugged, then appeared to be waiting for me to speak. Which I didn't. "So, Ben, how was the big date?" 

"You know how it was, Grandpa," I replied a little uneasily. 

"No, no. I don't mean that. How was your date? You know, being with Julie, alone, just the two of you, just like grown-ups. Was it as scary as you anticipated?" 

"No." 

"No?" 

"No." 

"Good." 

"Um, it was good." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"Good." Somehow, he must have seen the silly smile on my face, which I thought was hidden by the dark. "Really good?" 

"Mmm, pretty good," I conceded. 

"Good." 

"Grandpa?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Do you think Grandma will let me go out with Julie again sometime?" 

"Ah, it was that good, was it? You want to do it again?" 

"Well, you know, this date was kinda we never even got to the dance." 

"Was Julie very disappointed?" 

"No, not really. She said she wasn't. But it feels kinda like we didn't really finish, you know?" 

"I see. So, where do you wanna go on this second date?" 

"I dunno yet." 

"Well, I'll tell you, when you think of something you'd like to do, you come talk to me and your grandmother and we'll see what we can work out, eh?" 

"Really?" 

"Sure. 'Course it'll be up to Julie's parents as well, you know." 

"I know, Grandpa." 

"Good. Well, it's late. We all got chores to do in the morning." 

"Okay, Grandpa. G'night." I lay back down, not at all sure that I was going to be able to sleep yet. 

"Goodnight, buddy," he said with a pat to the blankets that covered me. "Don't stay awake all night thinking back on the day." 

I smiled. It was comforting the way Grandpa was able to read my mind. I knew I didn't have to tell him anything. He understood. "Thanks, Grandpa." 

"No problem." 

* * *

Needless to say, I was up much of that night. I lay in the dark, a pillow held snug to my chest, dreaming of that which had been and that which would be -- someday. 

* * *

**THE END**

maryspen@aol.com 


End file.
